I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon
I've come to a conclusion. It's not a popular view, but it's true. And you're not going to like it. But, the indisputable fact is this: if I don't know you, you're probably pretty stupid.
I was kinda tempted to just leave it there, but that wouldn't make for a particularly good read. "Hey, Sledge thinks I'm stupid. You know what? He's right!" As much as it would be nice for people to respect me so much that that would happen, they don't so it won't. So I guess I'd better expand and explain. Which actually is my first point: so many people don't seem to understand the value of being able to explain why they just said something. Really, you can test this. Go to any forum on the internet, any pub, any real or virtual gathering place for humans. Listen to/read conversations. It won't be long before someone says something that's pretty retarded, with no explanation whatsoever. At this point, if you value your sanity, leave. DO NOT attempt to get an explanation out of them. See, these people don't actually know why they think what they think. They just cling to a view that someone once said, and "Well, that's my opinion, so leave me alone." This is the most retarded point of view in the world. And it's responsible for pretty much any evil you can think of in the world.
Too strong a point? No. See, when you're talking about toy guns, or books, or... fuck, any of the irrelevant stuff we spend most of our lives discussing, it doesn't really matter why someone holds the view they do. If you think Batman Returns is better than Batman Begins, well, fuck you, but it doesn't matter. That era is over, Nolan is the future, so it sucks to be you. But both of us can enjoy the films we like, and mock each other for our blatantly wrong views. But when you start discussing serious topics you can't just say "It's my opinion, so you can't tell me I'm wrong" doesn't cut it. That's the only defence most forms of discrimination have, when you come down to it. "Black people/Asians/women/Jews are just inferior, so we shouldn't have to pay them/employ them/let them live." Delete as appropriate and that's basically any sexist or racist argument. So, if you've ever tried to justify pretty much anything with "that's my opinion," then you're stupid.
What else marks you as stupid? Any use of the phrase "postmodernism" to defend... anything. I have had arguments with people who think The Matrix is a great film because it makes a postmodernist statement. Sorry, but that's just bullshit. You're using a buzzword to defend something that either you know is actually shit, but you want to get a reaction out of people, or you know it's shit but you secretly enjoy it. I can sit down and explain exactly why The Matrix is the late-90s equivalent of 80s shoot-em-up flicks. If your best response is "it's postmodern," you're stupid.
Spelling. Punctuation. Correct pronunciation. And, more to the point, people who don't use them, then bleat "wot does it matter u know wat i ment." You fucking morons, language is about the most important thing on Earth. Every single one of us is essentially alone. No one can see what is in your mind. Language is all we have to get what we think, feel, believe, want and need across to other people. How can anyone claim it isn't important to use language as correctly as possible? Ultimately, it is what has enabled us to rise above all the other species of animal on this planet. We can pass on information to others. If you don't think that's important, please hand over every single thing you own and go live in a fucking forest.
This next one is internet specific. It's people who post on a forum to ask a question that could easily be answered with Google. I don't mean questions that need some degree of technical knowledge already, I mean stuff like "what year was this film made?" or "what media player to I need to open this file?" YOU'RE ON THE INTERNET. It's the single biggest source of information on the planet, and yet some people refuse to use it. How is it any fun to be spoon fed the answer to every question that crosses your mind? Wouldn't you feel so much better if you got off your virtual arse and looked for answers yourself?
People called Colin. They just need to fuck off. Seriously. Has anyone called Colin ever achieved anything of note? The only one I can think of is General Colin Powell, and he's so embarrassed by the name he'd rather be called "Colon." Naming your child Colin should be regarded as child abuse and outlawed. Then we can use the word as a term of abuse for extremely boring people. Much as it is now, in fact.
Now, here's the catch: if I actually know you, chances are you exhibit one or more of these traits. I'll probably add to this list at a later date, increasing your chances of being on it. So why don't I hate every single person on the planet? Because people you know are different. You know that. I know that. Something that in a stranger makes you want to kill them can be perfectly charming in a friend or loved one. But this is why the internet is full of arguments: you're constantly having to deal with people you don't know who are therefore just really stupid. But they're not. They're just people you don't know.
Except in my case. I really am right, and the rest of you really are all stupid.
I was kinda tempted to just leave it there, but that wouldn't make for a particularly good read. "Hey, Sledge thinks I'm stupid. You know what? He's right!" As much as it would be nice for people to respect me so much that that would happen, they don't so it won't. So I guess I'd better expand and explain. Which actually is my first point: so many people don't seem to understand the value of being able to explain why they just said something. Really, you can test this. Go to any forum on the internet, any pub, any real or virtual gathering place for humans. Listen to/read conversations. It won't be long before someone says something that's pretty retarded, with no explanation whatsoever. At this point, if you value your sanity, leave. DO NOT attempt to get an explanation out of them. See, these people don't actually know why they think what they think. They just cling to a view that someone once said, and "Well, that's my opinion, so leave me alone." This is the most retarded point of view in the world. And it's responsible for pretty much any evil you can think of in the world.
Too strong a point? No. See, when you're talking about toy guns, or books, or... fuck, any of the irrelevant stuff we spend most of our lives discussing, it doesn't really matter why someone holds the view they do. If you think Batman Returns is better than Batman Begins, well, fuck you, but it doesn't matter. That era is over, Nolan is the future, so it sucks to be you. But both of us can enjoy the films we like, and mock each other for our blatantly wrong views. But when you start discussing serious topics you can't just say "It's my opinion, so you can't tell me I'm wrong" doesn't cut it. That's the only defence most forms of discrimination have, when you come down to it. "Black people/Asians/women/Jews are just inferior, so we shouldn't have to pay them/employ them/let them live." Delete as appropriate and that's basically any sexist or racist argument. So, if you've ever tried to justify pretty much anything with "that's my opinion," then you're stupid.
What else marks you as stupid? Any use of the phrase "postmodernism" to defend... anything. I have had arguments with people who think The Matrix is a great film because it makes a postmodernist statement. Sorry, but that's just bullshit. You're using a buzzword to defend something that either you know is actually shit, but you want to get a reaction out of people, or you know it's shit but you secretly enjoy it. I can sit down and explain exactly why The Matrix is the late-90s equivalent of 80s shoot-em-up flicks. If your best response is "it's postmodern," you're stupid.
Spelling. Punctuation. Correct pronunciation. And, more to the point, people who don't use them, then bleat "wot does it matter u know wat i ment." You fucking morons, language is about the most important thing on Earth. Every single one of us is essentially alone. No one can see what is in your mind. Language is all we have to get what we think, feel, believe, want and need across to other people. How can anyone claim it isn't important to use language as correctly as possible? Ultimately, it is what has enabled us to rise above all the other species of animal on this planet. We can pass on information to others. If you don't think that's important, please hand over every single thing you own and go live in a fucking forest.
This next one is internet specific. It's people who post on a forum to ask a question that could easily be answered with Google. I don't mean questions that need some degree of technical knowledge already, I mean stuff like "what year was this film made?" or "what media player to I need to open this file?" YOU'RE ON THE INTERNET. It's the single biggest source of information on the planet, and yet some people refuse to use it. How is it any fun to be spoon fed the answer to every question that crosses your mind? Wouldn't you feel so much better if you got off your virtual arse and looked for answers yourself?
People called Colin. They just need to fuck off. Seriously. Has anyone called Colin ever achieved anything of note? The only one I can think of is General Colin Powell, and he's so embarrassed by the name he'd rather be called "Colon." Naming your child Colin should be regarded as child abuse and outlawed. Then we can use the word as a term of abuse for extremely boring people. Much as it is now, in fact.
Now, here's the catch: if I actually know you, chances are you exhibit one or more of these traits. I'll probably add to this list at a later date, increasing your chances of being on it. So why don't I hate every single person on the planet? Because people you know are different. You know that. I know that. Something that in a stranger makes you want to kill them can be perfectly charming in a friend or loved one. But this is why the internet is full of arguments: you're constantly having to deal with people you don't know who are therefore just really stupid. But they're not. They're just people you don't know.
Except in my case. I really am right, and the rest of you really are all stupid.
posted by Sledge @ 05:51
12 comments
